Woes

I'm not sure if this post is out of anger or anguish. I might seem like a child to talk about things this way but I'd rather get this off my chest than hide behind the masquerade of being a teenager.

I tend to keep more to myself nowadays because as much as I hate to hear of other people's constant (and often unintelligent) chattering I would expect the crowd to feel the same for me if I were to babble on about something that doesn't quite fit their area of interest. Instead, I give my opinions to friends who share my views and interests who would listen to my words with sincerity. In a way, it shows respect for the people around you by not acting as a distraction and you experience the true essence of conversations with people.

Yet, there are people who feel that they know you better than yourself. I have no qualms with people who think they are especially gorgeous or highly intelligent, I have great confidence in my own abilities as well, but treating others as if they know your actions seem as a huge act of disrespect for another and it simply serves to magnify your stupidity to others. I for one have a strong disdain for these people, and yet they are people whom I have work with every single day in the sports team and in college.

Every time the topic on homework is raised in conversations, without a single utterance of a syllable, people assume that I've finished all my homework weeks before they've started. Nobody likes to be accused or for others to misunderstand them. When I denied these allegations, I am assumed to be lying. Well, aren't these assumptions simply, well, assumption? What makes your opinions more believable than another, especially if you aren't even one of knows me well enough to reprimand me? So a person who keeps to himself and does better in the exams would study harder than you? (No, my results are not fantastic less common in a sports team where people train 6 times a week before competitions and just sufficient to keep in the higher percentiles) So one who scurries about the soccer field during lunch hours would be a better sportsman than another who avoid the mid day sun in Singapore? Is one more active in his lifestyle if he or she pretends to be sociable? I'd beg to differ. At least compared to those I know, I experienced more things than they did in the last few years, achieving better in Wushu competitions, taking part in the student council in the past, played in Chess tournaments, taking up research projects, learning to be a drummer and still not losing out in the academics.      

In the face of criticism from friends, I would at least attempt to accept and correct myself for they are of good intentions. Perhaps I've been sensitive over the words of others, but I never claimed to be immune to them. I do not enjoy putting down others but I believed I had not lost out against those people who would never listen. I stress I am not comparing myself to everyone out there, there are always better people out there, but I had to pen down my feelings. Not a good thing to do on a blog, but I believe it had not been insulting in any sense, not to mention the number of people who would read it..

I've contemplated over a post on Facebook, but what more would it seem than a fit of tantrum if it was filled with frustration directed carelessly towards others? With this blog post, I can better reason myself rather than project a barrage of profanities that would so easily, and yet so ineffectively express myself? I apologise for my weak language and lengthy post. If there was anyone to offer thoughtful advice, I would gladly embrace it.